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let's cuddle在线观看永久免费网址

发布日期:2022-07-31 12:36    点击次数:183

let's cuddle在线观看永久免费网址

25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women1. You can enjoy a beer all month long2. Beer stains wash out3. You don't have to wine and dine beer4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out6. Hangovers go away7. A beer labels come off without a fight8. Beer is never late9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer11. Beer never gets a headache12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head15. A beer always goes down easy16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty17. You can share a beer with your friends18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer19. Beer is always wet20. Beer doesn't demand equality21. You can have a beer in public22. A beer doesn't care when you come23. A frigid beer is a good beer24. You don't have to wash a beer before it taste good25. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony 86 Reasons Why A Beer Is Better Than A Man1. A beer makes life easier.2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.4. A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling.5. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.7. A beer will never expect you to sleep in the wet spot IT makes.8. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.9. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.11. A beer won't leave you for a younger woman.12. A beer won't leave you for a younger man either.13. You don't have to worry about getting AIDS from a bisexual beer.14. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.15. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.16. A beer will never smell like a man.17. A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car.18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.19. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.20. A beer doesn't sulk.21. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.22. A beer won't switch the TV channel.23. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.24. A beer doesn't snore.25. A beer can't interrupt.26. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburettor.27. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.28. A beer doesn't belch.29. Or fart.30. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.31. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.32. A good beer is easy to find.33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.34. A beer can't pout.35. A beer doesn't have a mother.36. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.37. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.38. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.39. A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack.40. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled “turbo”.41. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.43. A beer doesn't want children.44. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.45. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.47. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.48. Hangovers go away. 49. A beer tastes good.50. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.52. A beer is never late.53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.54. A beer's life does not revolve around the world series.55. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the Steelers' quarterback.56. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.58. A beer never needs a shave.59. You don't have to let a beer win.60. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too.62. A beer doesn't have morning breath.63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.65. A beer helps with the housework.66. A beer will never drink the last beer.67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.68. You can't get herpes from a beer.69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.71. A beer is seldom messy.72. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.73. After you've had a beer, all you're committed to doing is throwing out the container.74. A beer container is recyclable.75. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.76. A beer will NEVER call you “Babe”. Or “Sugar”.77. A beer is never temperamental.78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.79. A cold beer is a good beer.80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.83. A beer is never too sensitive.84. A beer won't steal the covers.85. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.86. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.Cucumber1) A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't matter.2) A cucumber won't need to be sucked off.3) A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.4) A cucumber won't lie to you about having a vasectomy.5) A cucumber won't want to come on your face.6) A cucumber won't fall asleep too soon.7) A cucumber won't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.8) A cucumber won't make you sleep on the wet spot.9) You won't find out that a cucumber is: married, on penicillin, trying to screw your sister.10) A cucumber won't grab cash from your purse while you're asleep.11) A cucumber won't come home late, stinking of beer.12) A cucumber won't run off with a cheerleader or an ex-nun.And don't forget:1) All cucumbers are fresh and juicy.2) You can keep as many cucumbers as you want.3) Your mother won't flip out finding a cucumber in your house.4) Cucumbers don't jam the freezer with food you don't like.5) Cucumbers don't stay up until 4 and then demand that you take care of them when they get sick.6) But on the other hand, cucumbers stay up ALL THE TIME.7) Cucumbers don't mind if you enjoy them and a movie at the same time.8) Nobody calls you a bigot for having a favourite kind of cucumber.9) The cucumbers you raise don't desert you. Why A Cucumber Is Better Than A Man1) the average cucumber is at least seven inches long2) cucumbers stay hard for a week3) a cucumber won't tell you size doesn't count4) cucumbers don't get too excited5) a cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety6) cucumbers are easy to pick up7) you can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket8) ... and you know how firm it is before you take it home9) you only have a cucumbers when you feel like it10) no matter how you slice it, you can always have your cuke and eat it too11) you can have as many cucumbers as you can handle12) cucumbers can get away any weekend13) with a cucumber you can get a single room14) ... and you won't have to check in as “Mrs” Cucumber15) a cucumber will always respect you in the morning16) you can go to movie with a cucumber ... and see the movie17) at a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat18) a cucumber can always wait until you get home19) a cucumber won't eat all the popcorn or send you out to get Milk Duds20) a cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival21) a cucumber won't ask “Am I the first?”22) cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin23) cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin24) cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin25) with cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once26) cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall27) cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups28) cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bad with your boots on29) cucumbers aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits and nuts30) cucumbers never need a round of applause31) cucumbers won't ask: Am I the best? How was it? Did you come? How many times?32) cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynaecologist, ski/tennis instructors33) a cucumber won't want to join your support group34) a cucumber never wants to improve your mind35) cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations36) cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one37) a cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator38) a cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over39) no matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh cucumber40) cucumbers can handle rejection41) a cucumber won't pout if you have a headache42) a cucumber won't care what time of the month it is43) a cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet44) with a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry45) cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow46) cucumbers won't give you a hickey47) cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot48) afterwards, a cucumber won't:-1/ want to shake hands and be friends2/ say, “I'll call you a cab”3/ tell you he's not the marrying kind4/ tell you he is the marrying kind5/ call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist6/ take you to confession49) cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month50) a cucumber won't make you go to the drugstore51) cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for him52) a cucumber a day keeps the ob-gyn away53) a cucumber won't work your crossword with ink54) a cucumber isn't allergic to your cat55) with a cucumber, you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the flu season56) cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car57) a cucumber won't consume all your food or liquors58) a cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library59) cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest60) a cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray61) cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor62) cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub63) a cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet64) a cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower65) with a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it66) cucumbers don't compare you to a centrefold67) cucumbers can't count to “10”68) cucumbers don't tell you they like you better with longer hair69) a cucumber will never leave you for another woman, for another man, for another cucumber70) a cucumber will never call and say, “I have to work late, honey” and then come home with the smell of Channel No 19 on him - a cucumber never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt71) you always know where YOUR cucumber has been72) you won't find out later that your cucumber: is married, is on penicillin or has AIDS, likes you, but loves your brother73) a cucumber never has to call “the wife”74) cucumbers never have mid-life crisis75) a cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move76) cucumbers never have to tell you what they did while on vacation77) cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do78) a cucumber won't wear shorts to your office party79) you don't have to wait until halftime to talk to your cucumber80) a cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve81) a cucumber won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde82) cucumbers never want to take you home to mom83) a cucumber doesn't care if you always spend the holidays with your family84) a cucumber won't ask to be put through Medical school85) a cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually86) cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers87) a cucumber won't say “Let's keep trying until we have a boy.”88) a cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised Catholic, Jewish, or orthodox vegetarian89) it's easy to drop a cucumber90) a cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything91) And last by not least:92) Why can't today’s women become successful carpenters?93) Because all their lives they've been told that this94) |-------------------------------------------------|95) is 12 inches Cookie Dough Better Than Men List32 Reasons why Cookie Dough is better than men.1) It's enjoyable hard or soft.2) It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.3) It doesn't mind if you take your anger out on it.4) You always want to swallow.5) It won't complain if you share it with friends.6) It's “quick and convenient”.7) You can enjoy it more than once.8) It comes already protectively wrapped.9) You can make it as large as you want.10) If you don't finish it you can save it for later.11) It's easier to get the kind you want.12) You can comparison shop.13) It's easier to find in a grocery store.14) You can put it away when you've had enough.15) You know yours has never been eaten before.16) It won't complain if you chew on it.17) It comes chocolate flavoured.18) You always know when to get rid of it.19) You can return it--satisfaction is guaranteed.20) It's always ready to go.21) You won't get arrested if you eat it in public.22) You don't have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.23) It won't wake you up because it's hard.24) You don't have to find an excuse not to eat it.25) You can tell your friends how much you've eaten without sounding like you're bragging.26) It won't take up room in your bed.27) It's easy to pick up.28) You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.29) You know what the extra weight is from.30) It won't get jealous if you pick up another one.31) It never has an insecurity problem with its size.32) It is very pliable. The 9 Types Of BoyfriendsJoe Sensitive - “After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?”Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, SnugglepupAdvantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirtsDisadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpyOld Man Grumpus - “People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV.”Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, JerkAdvantages: Stays put; predictableDisadvantages: Royal pain in the assFlinchy - “I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did.”Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey youAdvantages: Jumps entertainingly when startledDisadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggleBigfoot - “Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'.”Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' DumbAdvantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooledDisadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pigLazybones - “Zzzzzz”Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite,夜夜爽妓女8888视频免费观看 Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug AddictAdvantages: Well rested; easy targetDisadvantages: Unlikely to fulfil your dreamsThe Sneak - “Who, me?”Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a BitchAdvantages: May feel pangs of guiltDisadvantages: May be having time of his lifeAce of Hearts - “After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?”Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, MonsterAdvantages: Perpetually arousedDisadvantages: Perpetually arousedThe Dreamer - “Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--”Also known as: Struggling artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind, FoolAdvantages: Tells good storiesDisadvantages: Will turn into “Old Man Grumpus”Mr. Right - “While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?”Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim DandyAdvantages: Answer to a woman's prayerDisadvantages: Hunted to extinctionThe 9 Types Of GirlfriendsMs Nice Guy - “Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have”Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormatAdvantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindlyDisadvantages: May wise up somedayOld Yeller - “You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??”Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from HellAdvantages: Pays attention to youDisadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pansSickly - “Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite”Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, GrumpyAdvantages: PredictableDisadvantages: ContagiousThe Bosser - “Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look.”Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes MomAdvantages: Often rightDisadvantages: Often right, but so what?Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - “I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair colour?”Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon HoneyAdvantages: Easily soothedDisadvantages: Even more easily perturbedWild Woman out of Control - “I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun.”Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed outAdvantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeysDisadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffsHuffy - “I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at”Also known as: No fun, humourless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, SnarlyAdvantages: Your friends will feel sorry for youDisadvantages: You will have no friendsWoman from Mars - “I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship”Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, ArtisticAdvantages: Entertaining, unfathomableDisadvantages: Will read her poetry aloudMs. Dreamgirl - “I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed rabbits now”Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, GorgeousAdvantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibitedDisadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you

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